Im at strip club and am horny
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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