My first STD was from a foam party
pop tarts are not kleenex
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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