Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
no, he came in my armpit
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
