also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
