my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
