its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
