i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
he just fucked me for my cheese.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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