Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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