my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
