i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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