she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize