hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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