I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
