Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
