meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
