wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
