Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
