sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
