That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
