Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
