There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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