But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize