Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
