I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
