11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
