yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
