one might say we're banned from that church
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
