My first STD was from a foam party
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
