her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
