So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
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