that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You made out with two different species that night
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
