I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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