I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
