Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
