ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
