she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
