the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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