It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
