Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
