As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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