You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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