How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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