highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
