That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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