It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Randomize
