allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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