Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
