walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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