I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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