I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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