I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
