She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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