I just saw a hot homeless man
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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