Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
