Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
