Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
