I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Dick very happy bro
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
