also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
