I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize