Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
