My brain says no but my pants say off.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
