My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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