we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
