Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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